Mr Emily Fields
by nisiku
Summary: Emily Fields is born intersex. She gets betrayed and makes a few mistakes. She gets away from Rosewood and hopes she never has to be there again. Emily in different pairings: Emison, Melissa/Emily. (Your decision!) Rated M for language and many adult scenes!
1. Chapter 1

**Mr. ****Emily Fields**

_Chapter 1_

Emily POV

*Beep beep beep*

I slammed the alarm off with my fist. _Shit, I shouldn't have gone to the party last night, _I think. _Yes, that's an amazing way to start the day -Not._

I slowly open my eyes and start to get up but stop when I hear a voice next to me. I look over my shoulder and see.._Jesus Christ! Shit._

Then I remember the last night.

_***Flashback***_

_"Oh yes!..Fuck! Yes, Em! Uh, uh, mmmh..Right there! Ngh..Fuck!", the girl moans/screams while I am thrusting in and out of her. I am proud of myself that I'm not close to my orgasm because I want her to come undone over and over._  
_Everytime i get drunk I end up here. In my bed. Naked with a girl. And for four weeks it's just her. And nobody can know about this. They would kill me. They would hate me. But why would I care.. . Just because she is the sister of my two bestfriends who aren't my bestfriends anymore? She's the only one who is there for me.._

_***Flashback ends***_

And there she lays..Melissa. Sister of Spencer and Ali.

_Oh god. _I hate to wake up like this. With a hangover and next to someone. But after what happened I hate to have somebody near me. But Melissa is a exception because she's the only one who treats me like this. Like I wouldn't be a random jerk. With her I don't feel like I'm shit.  
It's not love between us but we are lonely and we don't give a shit anymore. We don't talk much but Melissa understands me. She knows what happened but we don't talk about it. I don't talk about me. I don't care about myself anymore. It's because of her. It's because of Ali. After what she has done to me I changed. i changed everything. I changed my inside and out.

"Good morning, Em.", Melissa says.  
"Morning Mel. How did you sleep?", I ask.  
"It was a short night but I slept well. Do you think you can make it to school?"  
"I have to because if I don't go my mom will definetely come back from Texas.", I reply with a sigh. My mom is here for three months and then goes to Texas to see my dad and comes back 1 month later.  
"Yeah you're right. When will she come anyways?", she asks.  
"Two weeks I think..I really want to see my dad. With him everything is different. But they call every day so that makes it easier.", I say and then look over her body. She's sitting up now and her breasts anre exposed since the blanket slid down when she sat up. Her nipples are hard I think from the cold air rushing throug the room since my door is open.  
"Okay..get ready now. I will be downstairs to make breakfast. Can I have clothes? Mine are smelling like alcohol. And Spencer..well..she's Spencer.."  
I tear my eyes away from her breasts and look at her. "Then it wouldn't be this good to wear my clothes Mel."  
"Oh come on, please. Spencer won't be at home when I get there. Pleeease..I love your clothes!  
I smile at her cuteness and chuckle. "Fine. Take what you want Mel."

When she grins I smile wider. Sometimes she's just so damn cute. Especially when she's begging..  
I then get up and go over to my closest without thinking.

"Em?", I turn around. I know that tone of her voice.  
"God, Em. When you realize what I'm looking at..please let me do it.  
I am confused. "What are you talking about?"  
I look at her and see her staring at my body. I look down and know what she means. Like almost every morning I have a boner. I sigh and go over to Melissa. At least I don't have to do it by myself today. So I sit next to her on the bed.  
"Here.", I say smirking.  
"Really? Can I?", she asks to be sure.  
"It's all yours.", I say as I lean on my back on the bed when i settle myself in the middle of it.

She takes my dick in her hand and rubs it up and down perfectly. I close my eyes. I freakin' love this and let out a moan. But I let out a louder moan when I suddenly feel her lips around the head of my dick sucking it. She softly pushed her head up and down but keeps rubbing up and down with her hand what she doesn't reach with her mouth. I am close and grab her hair and push her farther down but without hurting her. I want more. I want her. I don't know why but today everything feels different. I am going to give her what she never had from me.  
I pulled her head of my dick and pulled her body up to mine. We locked eyes. I cupped her cheeks and we kissed. It was a rough kiss. I put my hands on her ass and pull her up and sit her on my stomach with my dick right behind her. I break the kiss and wait till our eyes lock again.

"Ride me.", I say softly while stroking her tigh.  
She looks shocked. "Really? I mean you are always on top. You said you never want this."  
"Please do it.", I say and she nods.

I have an awkward feeling today. You know..this feeling when you know something will change or when something feels just different. Something is going to happen today. I don't know what. If it is something good or bad. But I know something will happen.

When she settles down on my dick slowly she lets out whimpers and moans and doesn't move. She looks in my eyes and takes a deep breath. I grab her hips and wait for her to get comfortable.  
"You okay?", I ask.  
"Ye-Yes. It's just really deep and you are just so big. It feels different.", she breathes out and I smile up to her.  
I remember the first time when we had sex I had to stay still for five minutes because she said it was so big. I wanted to stop but she wanted to just get used to it. So I hovered above her for five minutes without moving. Sometimes I wonder how small the dicks of her exes were but I don't talk about that. But sex with Melissa is amazing. We have sex almost every day but I am drunk every second day. I go to parties with her often but I mostly go alone.  
She starts to slowly get up and down on my dick and it doesn't take long till she's a moaning mess above me. She bounces up and down now really fast and everytime she gets down I thrust up.

Two minutes later her walls thighten and I have to steady her more on her hips. I help her to don't stop while pushing her up and down. Her hands are on each side of my head. Her body leans forward. Her tits bouncin' up and down. Her eyes shut tightly. Her mouth lightly open.  
I press her down hard and I feel my dick going deep inside her. I look at her face. Her eyes are shut more tightly and her mouth is wide agape letting out a breathless scream. This brings me over my edge and I close my eyes thightly and repeat my action one more time and she lets out a loud scream and her arms give out. She falls flat on top of me. I let out a grunt but wrap my arms around her. We are both breathing heavily. She is shaking and still moaning so I stroke her back to let her come down. She buries her face deep in my neck. It takes a little till our breath gets normal again.  
After about four minutes she makes the first move and gets off of my dick and lays next to me. She whimpers when she feels how deep I was in her and lets out a huge breath.  
I slowly sit up and look at her smiling. She returns the smile.

"I should get ready now.", I say and stand up.  
"Yeah and I should get going. We don't have time for breakfast have we?"  
"No not really. But I will see you around and please text me when you are home okay?", I say. I want to be sure everything is alright and that she comes home safe.  
"It's nice to see the real Emily again. I will and thanks for the night, again.", she says with a wink.  
I smirk and lean down so our faces are just inches away. "You can't deny that you love my change and you are obsessed with my piercing." **(Imagine the picture Shay posted with the piercing in her nose!) **  
"Okay, okay you are right. And I really am. It's fuckin' hot.", she says.

I close the gap between us and kiss her one last time before I get ready.

When I arrive there on my motorcycle I have like every day the eyes of everybody on me. Since I changed my look and got the real me I am called something like 'B_adass Fields'._ I don't really care about it.  
So like every day for four three months now I go into the school hallway seeing the girls and Ali watching me. I take of my sunglasses and pass them without even looking once at them. They let me down. I had nobody at first. They weren't there for me. I was done. With all of them. And the reason was no one other than Ali. 'Queen Bee-bitch of rosewood'.  
I walk over to my new friends. All were new but Toby. He's my best friend and was by my side when Ali did what she did. I felt bad for Spencer because he ended their relationship when he found they did nothing against it. Right now he's the most important person in my life. I help him with the breakup with spencer and I wanted him to go back with her because he is really broken but he said she disappointed him way to much. So we don't talk about that anymore. He helps me with Ali. He is the only person who knows everything. He knows every detail and when I told him that I talked about this with the girls they weren't listening he was so angry like I never saw him before.  
My new friends weren't really my friends before but we knew each other.  
So my group were Toby, Mona (who joined me because Hanna let her down too when Ali mobbed her.), Sydney, Noel and Jenna.  
Toby and Jenna are the only ones who know how strong my feelings for Alison are but Jenna doesn't know the whole story behind it.

"Hey guys.", I say with a small smile.  
"Wow..Fields you look hot.", Mona says smirking. I have to admit that Mona is really pretty since she changed herself.  
"I have to agree but were you drinking Fields? Your jacket smells like whiskey.", Noel says. _Of course he smells it, _I think and roll my eyes. Noel really became a good friend. When he cares about someone he does much for that person. And I'm glad to have him also when he's really exhausting sometimes.  
"How are you feeling?", Jenna asks concerned. The others think it's because the drinking but I know she means Ali.  
I give her a weak smile and then turn to the others. "I feel my hungover.."  
"You didn't feel it before?", Sydney asks.  
I shrug then smirk and answer "I had no time for that."  
"Ohh..Fucking all night and morning..that's why you look that good.", Mona says smirking.  
I look over to Toby because he's really quiet.  
"Can we talk Em? Alone?", he asks. I know what this is about.  
"Yes, Tobs.", I say and he leds me away from the group who is now deep in another conversation.

"Was it her again?", Toby asks. I told him about Melisa and I because I didn't want to lie or keep something from him.  
I look at my feet and reply quietly "Yes."  
"I really don't know what you are thinking but I also don't know what _I_ should be thinking. Emily you are fucking the sister of your best friend I was dating!", he whispers shouthing.  
"She is not my best friend anymore! Ans are you judging me now?! You know there are no feelings and I think Melissa is seeing another person so I don't really care. She is hot and sometimes I really hope Spencer finds out because I want her to feel how it is like to feel betrayed and lost!", I whisper back trhough gritted teeth.  
"Em do you hear yourself? She was your best friend and do you know what would happen between Spencer and Melissa? She would freak out and when her parents would find out it would be so over. Please Em I just want you to think about it. And I get it why you are doing this with Melissa and not with a random person.", He says and I'm getting angry. Why would _he _ know that when even _I _don't know why.

"Are you sure? Iwould love to hear why.", I say angry and clench my fists on my side.  
"You wanted someone who is near Ali. I mean Melissa is Alison's sister too. Does she even know about you and Ali?"  
"Toby you know I really love you but first there is no me and Alison-"  
"You love her Emily! You love Ali!", he interrupts getting louder.

And that's what I needed to explode. "Don't say her name like she is innocent! Look what she did to me! I will never feel this way for anyone else! After what she did I will never have the chance to open myself up to anyone else! She **destroyed **me! First she outed me to **everyone **and the worst she told **EVERYONE **that I have a dick! She's a fuckin' coldhearted bitch! And I **fucking HATE HER!**", I shout and I'm breathing heavily. He will never understand. Nobody will understand what she did to me.

Toby just stands there. His mouth open. I turned around and find everyone staring and standing still. I just feel so much hate right now. So while breathing heavily and feeling the anger, hurt and hate rushing through my body I make my way over to them.

I stand in front of Ali. Looking down at her. I'm a lot taller than her because I am also wearing heels. That is something new too. I stare down at her but she looked away.

"Look at me.", I say harshly. She doesn't look. "Fuck you Alison, look at me!", I say louder. When she doesn't look at me again I just take her jaw in my hand hard and turn her head to look at me right in my eyes. She i shocked and whimpers but I just feel anger.

"You better look at me Alison.", I say through gritted theeth again and she finally looks at me.  
She tries to get away but I am a lot stronger than her. I heard the other girls trying to get me away from Alison. When Hanna touches my arm for me to get away I quickly push her away with my other arm and look her dead in the eyes. "Don't you dare touch me again! She deserves it all and she has to listen what I have to say. And I swear to all of you if you touch me one more time you will regret it.

With that I turn around to face Ali again. "Please Em. Let me go."  
"Don't call me that. I hate you!", I say as my grip thightend.

"It's not my fault that you love me.", she says.

I feel my heart hurting now more than ever and I feel tears in my eyes. But I won't get weak.  
"It's not your fault?! It's your fuckin' fault!", I shout in her face.

She waits a moment and suddenly she smirks. _Why is she smirking?! _"At least I don't have to fuck Melissa."

My eyes widen. _How does she know? _But before I can do something, other words come rushing through my mind _"it's not my fault that you love me"_.

I slap her hard and her whole cheek was red. I then see that her cheek is cut open.  
After a few seconds she looks back up. I fake a smile to let her think that it felt good for me but in reality it broke my heart to hurt her. _How can she break me even more?!_

I slowly go to the exit without looking back. I hear whispering and everyome stares.  
When I finally get outside I feel someone grabbing my wrist. I turn around thinking it is Toby.

But it's Hanna.

"I'm so sorry that it took me that long to get it. I'm so so sorry Emily.", she says with tears in her eyes.

She hugs me and i let her. But I don't hug back.

Then I see Spencer running out. _Shit she knows about Melissa._ I see the anger in her and Hanna pushes me away and stands in front of me watching Spencer running towards us..or should I say to me?

"How could you?! First Toby, now Melissa? What happened to you?! We are friends!"

Hanna wants to say something but I go in front of her and let it all out.

"And you are wrong Spencer! I am not a friend of you anymore! And I hate all of you! Do you know why I don't look at you when I go in the school every fuckin' day?! No you don't but I will tell you! Because I am **ashamed** that I was a friend of you all! But you know what? I'm done! Because of course it was **my **fault! Yeah Spencer listen! Was I the one who outed myself? Was I the one who told everyone that I was born intersex? Don't you think I hate that stupid dick?! Or was I the one who played with other feelings?! Because trust me..Melissa and I..it isn't love but we are both done. We don't care anymore! And after what you did I don't care about you anymmore too. Just remember the words I say now because maybe they are the** last **words you will ever hear from me! I hate you all**! I hate you all for letting me down!**"

With that I run to my car and drove home. Not looking back. I'm leaving.

When I arrive at my house I get in and call my mom.

"Hey sweetie is everything alright?", she asks.  
"I don't want to be here anymore mom."  
"Oh sweetheart..you know I can come home okay?  
"That's not what I want mom..", I say and I'm now crying.  
"What happened Em?", she asks concerned.  
"I want to move to Texas mom. I really want it. I hate it here."  
"Are you sure Emily?"  
"Yes. I-I want to move there next week. You don't have to come here. Toby and Jenna and the others will help me. I want to move..I want to find my home.", I say and sob.  
"Okay. If that's what you really want we will do it. I will call you tomorrow when i talked to your dad. can we do that this weekend or do you want to stay longer to say goodbye?"  
"I want to move as fast as possible."  
"Okay baby I will call you then. Love you sweetheart.", she says with a sigh.  
"Thanks mom. I love you too. Can i stay at home and not go to school till this weekend? Something bad happened."  
"What happened?"  
"Alison..she told everyone..they all let me down. I just can't take it any longer.", I say and I curl up on my bed. _Soon everything will be different. I will leave._  
"Okay yes stay at home Emily..I'm so sorry honey..I really am.", she says and I know she blames herself for this because I was born with this.  
"It's not your fault. Just call me..I will go to sleep and then I have to say goodbye to Toby so.."  
"Okay. We will get everything ready here."  
"Bye mom."  
"Bye hon. Love you."

I hang up. And like I said, my group helped me with getting the things to the airport and said goodbye. Toby even cried when I went to the plane.  
The night before the flight I spent with Melissa who cried too because she really cared for me a lot.

And I'm in Texas for two years now. And now my dad got another job...

...a job in Rosewood. Welcome to hell.


	2. Chapter 2

**Mr. Emily Fields**

_Chapter 2_

I sit in the car. On my way _home_. I thought I would never have to come back. But here I am, on my way back to Rosewood.  
I told my parents what happened. I told them that I often got drunk but left the part about having sex with random girls and Melissa out.  
It is so hard to go back. I loved Texas. The people here were nice and I met one girl. This one friend put my pieces back together. She helped me through the pain. She was like the little sister that I never had.  
In Texas I never talked to the people from Rosewood but Toby. We talked every week on the phone and he said the girls changed. I don't know what that means but I just don't wanna talk about it.  
There are three other people I thought about every damn day. Alison, Hanna and Melissa. When I think about Alison I am so mad but also sad. It just completely broke me. I just really want to know why. What did i do to deserve this? I believed her, I trusted her. She promised me she would never tell anyone about it. She knew I was gay. We often kissed and sometimes we made out, but the saddest thing for me is that she was _my first_.  
When I told her about my feelings I thought everything would be okay.

_**Flashback**_

I am in Ali's room on her bed. She told me to wait here because she had to go to the bathroom. I sit at the end of the bed thinking. Yesterday Alison and I made out for about the tenth time. Everytime I managed to stop before she could feel anything. Alison is my best friend. Well..she's more than a best friend. I didn't sleep long the last night because I thought about Ali and I. And I want to tell her about my feelings. I know I fell for her, hard. And I mean we made out and kissed a few times so she will understand. -Right?- And she seems like she feels the same way. I broke up with Ben because Alison told me to. She said I deserve better. She even told me she doesn't like Paige McCullers because Paige has a crush on me and Ali said she is a total psycho. Alison always sits beside me. And when she doesn't, she sits opposite of me and often winks at me. We both often steal glances at each other. When we are with the girls she makes sure nobody than her is next to me. We always cuddle and she often whispers cute things in my ear. So I will tell her.  
When the door opens I snap out of my thoughts. She comes towards me with a smile on her face and sits next to me on the bed. I stare down at my hands in my lap nervously. She takes one hand and intertwines our fingers. "Everything alright, Em?", she asks. I nod. She puts her index finger on my chin for our eyes to lock. She smiles at me. God, how I love that smile. It makes me melt."I know you Em. So what's up?"  
I look deep into her eyes. It's now or never. "I want to tell you something. I have to..", I say. A wave of nervousness rushes through me.  
"You can tell me everything Emily. You know you can trust me, Em.", she says and strokes with her thumb over my cheek.  
I nod and open my mouth to say it but nothing comes out. I see her confused face and look down avoiding her eyes and try again. "I-I think-"  
She interupts me, "Please look at me. You don't have to be afraid. You can trust me."  
I slowly make eye contact and sigh when I see those beautiful ocean blue eyes. They really take my breath away. I take a deep breath again and look into her eyes. I finally open my mouth, "I have feelings for you. I think I love you.", I say slowly.  
She stares at me. I instantly look down at my lap. She loosens her tight grip on my hand and I quickly put my hand in my lap. We sit in complete silence. I think I just destroyed our friendship. I close my eyes and just hope I am dreaming.  
I open them when I feel someone taking my hand again. My eyes open wide when I realize that Alison just took my hand again in a thighter grip than before.  
"I'm glad you told me. Come here.", she says and we look in each others eyes. Alison smiles softly and leans in to kiss my lips. When our lips touch I feel fireworks exploding in my stomach. Soon I feel her tongue on my lips and let her enter my mouth. Her hands are all over my body but I don't touch her. I don't know what she wants. Our make out session gets more heated and that's when it happens. Her hand on my pants. My eyes grow wide and we both break the kiss. I look at her shocked and she stares down at her hand which is still on my pants. I am so shocked I don't get any words out of my mouth. "E-Em?", Alison stutteres out as she looks in my eyes that are now filled with tears."I-I'm sorry..I sh-should get going.", I say and hold the tears back.  
"Hey..Em, no, stay here. It's okay. I don't have a problem with this. You are important to me Emily and nothing will change that." When she finishes I instantly pull her in for a kiss. It starts where we left off and after five minutes I am sucking, biting, kissing and licking her neck. She let out moans and I slowly take her dress off with the help of Ali. She takes off my shirt. I can't help but stare at her chest. She wears a black lace bra and matching underwear. Her curves fit her perfectly in all the right places. "You are gorgeous Ali.", I whisper and then look in her eyes. She smiles at me and unbuttones my pants. "Are you okay with this?", she asks. I take a deep breath and nod. She slowly pulls down my pants and I push the rest down. You can clearly see my boner through my boxers. It's already so hard I start blushing. We stare at each others bodies. I softly lay us down on the middle of the bed with me on top of her. She reaches behind me and takes off my bra. Once it is off she starts massaging my breasts. It sends pleasure through my whole body. I take off her bra and don't hestitate to take off her panties too. She doesn't give me much time to look over her body as she grabs my neck and brings my mouth to hers. The kiss feels like an eternity and I am totally lost in it. Until I feel her tug on my boxers. I break the kiss and look between our bodies. I close my eyes embarrassed of the sight of my hard dick. It springs out from the boxers and I sigh. I feel Alison's hand on my cheek. "Look at me.", she says softly with a sweet smile on her face which is the first thing I see as I open my eyes. Her bright blue eyes are staring in mine and I forget the whole world around us. "Em. You are beautiful no matter what. I love you for who you are. And little Em just makes it harder to resist you.", she says and smirks

"Can..can I touch you?", I ask shyly. "You don't have to ask Emily.", she chuckles ,"I'm all yours now. You can do whatever you want with my body.", she finishes with a smirk. I feel relieved and start to kiss all over her breasts with my hands groping them too. She throws her head back and moans. I feel her nipples harden and start to suck on them then bite them lightly. "Shit Em.", Ali moans with pleasure. She has her hands in my hair and pulls my face up to kiss me. My stomach does back flips and I feel light headed. "This is it. There's no going back.", I think to myself.  
Our tongues collide. I'm sure I was never this hard. It's already hurting a bit so I shift a bit and start to kiss down Ali's body to go a bit further. We both start to sweat only cause of the foreplay. I kiss and lick her nipples with the tip of my tongue again before trailing kisses further down to her glistening pussy. The sight of it makes my penis throb with lust and desire. I don't know how long I was admiring her down there but her pleading voice snapped me out of it, "Please baby. I need you. More of you." I close my eyes and stroke her legs up and down while I settle down with my head between her legs. I kiss from her knee down to her tigh where I leave a hickey. Ali's breathing quickens and she arches her back up to get closer to me. I slowly lick through her folds when i reach her center earning a low moan. "Faster Em.", she starts panting and I gladly accept that demand and quicken my pace. The tip of my tongue flips over her clit and she gasps loudly. "God, do that again.", she pleads. I use two of my fingers to spread her folds while I start flicking her clit at a fast pace. Everytime I touch her clit she bucks a little and lets out a few moans getting louder and louder each time.  
I stop for a second and instantly feel Ali's eyes staring at me. I look up at her and go down on her again while our eyes are still locked. I lick her clit slowly and then I try something new and start to suck it. "H-Holy shit! Emm...", she moans loudly and throws her head back. I suddenly feel her hand gripping my hair, trying to push me in harder. While I suck harder I take my fingers which were separating her folds and start to tease her opening for a bit. After some time of the teasing, dipping a little of my finger inside her than pulling out I go further inserting more and more of my finger. My tongue plays with her clit and switches from sucking to licking and nipping and kissing while I slowly take her with my finger. "More Em..Pleas-Mmmh", she whimpers and moans when I give her another finger. I go slowly but quicken my pace so now she's writhing beneath me, moaning. I feel her walls tighten around my fingers and since I started to get me off too with my other hand I'm getting closer and closer too. I don't know what happens after she's had her orgasm. Will she throw me out? Can I stay? Does she want to do more or doesn't want me inside her like that? That's why I get myself off because I don't know what happens and I won't walk around with a boner. Especially since nobody knows about it besides my parents. "Ahh shit! Ri-right there! FUCK!", Alison screams out making me notice that I'm thrusting into her hard right now.  
With bent fingers I'm going deeper, harder and faster. I let out a whimper feeling I'm cumming in the next few seconds. I slam into Alison who is crying out, panting, moaning away. Her moves make it difficult to stay in place with my mouth but also turn me on so much more. Her juices are already dripping down on my hand and bed. Seeing and hearing Alison like this and me stroking my dick up and down makes me cum hard but I don't let go of her. I moan into her sex sending vibrations onto her clit.  
"FUCK! Mmmh..EMILY!", she screams with her back arched and her whole body shaking. Her hands are pushing me into her even more and I keep moaning so she could feel the vibration. Without stopping to lick her I slow my pace and push her legs further away so I can get more room since she closed her legs tight around my head. Having my arm around her thigh I lick a few more times till she's shaking and bucking her hips up with each stroke of my tongue. I stand up and go over to my bag to take a tissue to wipe my cum off my hand.

"Come here Em.", she says softly and i just do that after throwing the tissue into the trash. Once she got me laying half on top of her in another make out session, my dick is standing up proudly again.  
"I want you. I want you to be my first, Emily.", I hear her whisper against my neck. "Are you sure?", I ask not believing the chance I just got. That's my dream. You say the first time has to be with someone special. Well Alison is the most important person in my life. And nothing will change that. The only thing you can do is to try to move on. But we all know you never forget the persons you love and hate the most. And you will never forget and will never get over your first love.

**_Flashback ends_**

_But it clearly wasn't okay._

Let's just say that day meant everything to me. And to think about it breaks me all over again. The worst thing is that I don't regret it. I don't because I loved every second of what happened.

And god I am still damn proud of being her first. Jenna asked me why I didn't use this against Alison. Well, first I don't want everyone to know about the most amazing day I experienced and second because I just can't hurt Alison like that.

* * *

Hanna.. Hanna was my best friend. Like she was the closest to me. She was the only person I really stood up for against Alison. I am attracted to Hanna. But that doesn't mean in that way I am attracted to the other blonde. It would definitely be a lie to say I haven't thought about Hanna in a sexual way. And if I'm honest it started before she lost weight. Hanna was or _is. _But she's not like Ali. Nobody is like Ali.

But I think Hanna hurt me the second most. I always stood up for her and was there for her every damn time. She wanted to help when everything was over. It was just no help.

* * *

And then there's Melissa. She was great, the absolute best person before I left. I want to thank her for everything. She's the first person I'm going to see.

* * *

_And that's what I am afraid of.  
Seeing these three people again._

_I hope something changed._  
_I hope the people changed._


End file.
